I was always told to find the thing I loved to do and make a career out of it. After sitting in the same room for eight hours working on a film, I quickly realized that if time could feel as though it stood still, that’s probably what I should be doing for the rest of my life. My own flow state, the idea that you are doing something you are passionate about and is a little challenging that it forces you to hyper focus. I am lucky, I know, to have experienced a flow state within film production.

After reading more in depth into flow state in the book Stolen Focus by Johann Hari, it has inspired a few questions. Are all flow states created equal? And how are we as a society not leaning into a flow state earlier in life? Why is social media to blame?

What I mean about flow states being created equal is that I think the idea of these states of deep focus can appear differently for everyone. When Hari was researching flow state, he watched a painter create art through hours of deep focus and he took that lesson and translated that into his writing for hours on end each day. I understand his conclusion, since I have always had outlets to help me find this deep sense of focus, instead of shutting off my mind and doom scrolling.

However, I have seen first hand what I would consider a different kind of flow states that Hari doesn’t touch upon. Take my older brother for example, he is not very technically creative like a painter and he struggles with academics like writing. My brother hits a flow state when he is surrounded by his friends, and when he isn’t close in proximity to those friends some social media interaction makes up for it. It looks different but overall is the same deep focus Hari writes about in the book.

I have had numerous conversations with my brother, about how he has always been jealous that I can reach a creative flow and get lost in deep thought for hours. I don’t think he understands that I can work by myself for 8 hours straight, but I struggle with one hour of socializing, trying to be in the moment, and focusing on the rest of the world. To me having the ability to hit such a deep sense of focus can also hinder a socialablitly all humans are in need of.

So, how are we as a society not leaning into and learning how to create a flow state that works for us earlier in life? Growing up I was fortunate to find real hobbies that took up my time, and kept me off my phone, but many people weren’t so fortunate. Those people adapted and social media was an outlet for them to deep focus into other topics like food videos or sports clips. Technically those people are still focused on something, just not what “society” deems as a meaningful pursuit, but then what are they supposed to do?

My 27-year-old brother, still struggles today to find what he likes to do because I genuinely believe nobody worked hard enough with him to find and support his passions. This is what really needs to change. Social media will always be a part of our world, but if we start to make the world and life more worth living and passionate, then maybe people will make a different choice over social media. We truly do create our own lives. We have to stop blaming what’s around us and start educating the masses to support dreams and passions.